Alejandroooooooo (:

Hey! I haven't blogged for a while now :0 Hehehe, well it's time for an update :D

This year's Christmas was probably the best one that I've had in a long time. (: The food was good, my parents and friends gave me a lot of presents...but that's what goes on every year. What's special about this Christmas was that I felt "new love." I'm extremely thankful for my best friends: Sophia, Alejandro, Vanessa, and Daisy. I love love love them...and that's where part of the love comes from.

BUT, I made one of them my boyfriend this Christmas...hehehe (: Thank you Alejandro for being so awesome, caring, loving, and...a good boyfriend (even though you're a noob! haha...noob :P). You've made me realize and SEE that there's a lot of good stuff out there in life. You've picked up my broken pieces and mended them together...every single time. (: Being with you (as a friend and girlfriend) is the greatest feeling in the world...I used to think different, but now I love and cherish every moment that I spend with you (: I love you. ^_^

Family Love

Family love doesn't just come from your biological family (: Maybe your best friend is like family to you...well, it's something like that for Vanessa, Alex, and I (: We're our own little family. Oh, and Alex's family is just like my family too. (: To be able to open up to them and tell them about anything, that makes them my family. Being comfortable around them in awkward situations count too (: <3

I Thought Wrong

I worked so hard for it. I did everything that I could to save it. Lol...I dedicated an entire 16 hours to write it...another three days to experiment, 5 hours to revise, half a day to make the board, and and 5 hours to present. I really thought that I had a chance. =\ But I didn't make it. I didn't make it to city science fair. My judges did not understand my project...>_< And I'm angry. I'm angry that the work I put so much time into is now over. To be honest, I do not believe that this is my fault...Maybe the judges thought wrong. Maybe they meant to say something else but couldn't exactly make it out right. Maybe I will have another chance, another shot. Because for the past two weeks, I put everyday of my life into my natural preservatives and E. Coli project. -Sigh- I'm not giving up...it hurts too much. When he told me that I did not make it, I felt as if someone broke my heart for the fourth time. I don't want it.

Journals from Class...

Journal #37 (11/17/2010)
"The cold passed reluctantly from the earth, and the retiring fogs revealed an army stretched out on the hills, resting."
When everything is taken from you and the only memory left are the ones that haunt you, I wonder what it feels like. Is it victory? Is it guilt? Have you done any good for your people? To steal someone else's happiness, well-being, and everything that mattered to them is a crime...very much so like claiming someone's life. I hope you're happy.

Journal #39 (11/23/2010)
"We started dying before the snow, and like the snow, we continued to fall."
We were never alright, at least not since seven years ago. His appearance demolished our freedom, our happiness, and our trust in each other. That's what human life is made of, right? Something about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness or something heh? Well, kiss those three goodbye, we were forcefully isolated from them seven years ago. Seven years, that's a lot of time. And it's even more time when you face a Grinch every day all day for those past seven years. Even though I escaped from his cold hands, demonic eyes, and heart of ice, it hasn't returned MY HAPPINESS, or hers. She's still suffering and being abused. Self abuse of abuse from him, it doesn't matter...it's still abuse. I thought wrong. I thought like a child, like everything would fall back into place if we left him. It didn't and it won't, there's still a scar in our minds.

Journal #40 (11/24/2010)
I am thankful for having the people that I do in my life, by my side. In other words, I am grateful for losing the ones that I did. Everything happens for a reason, and it was a good one that keep some people separated from me. It's a good thing...Happy Thanksgiving.
                                       - Yours Truly,
                                                    X

Always and Forever

Always and Forever - Deestylistic


May 22nd, 2005 was the day.
Promise to you baby girl, my feelings stayin this way.
Never wanna hurt ya, never will I leave you alone.
Everytime I'm by your side, is when I'm really at home.
Always and forever, that's the pinky promise we made.
You're the reason why I'm smilin at the start of the day.
And I hope you know I mean it everytime that I say.
I love you always and forever, it will always be the same.
The moment you're in pain, I wanna be there for you.
Cryin everytime you cry and sharin laughter with you.
When I look into your eyes I know our love is really true.
Ain't nothing I won't do if I can see my baby smile.
Remember you can call me anytime you're feelin down.
No girl can take your place and love me like the way you do.
So I'm a hold you tight, cause I need you by my side.
It's me and you forever, babe I need you in my life.



We were created to find each other our favorite and down for us to love forever. Our hands lockin tight, as I look into the eyes.
Of that one special person who would complete my life.
You were the one I chose, out of all the rest.
The one who I would cherish, and I'm puttin on my best.
Just to stay in your arms, as you hold me tight.
Cause baby, bein with you just feels so right.


Every single second that I live, I'm thinkin of you.
How we met was destiny, our love is honestly true.
Tell me what I'm suppose to do, if I ain't got you here.
I want to be the one that's by your side through the years.
Wanna be the one whose gon fight away all your tears.
Replacin it with happiness and take away all your fears.
One day we're gonna look at our pictures and reminisce.
Crazy are the things you do to me with just a little kiss.
I wouldn't trade you for the world, you're all that I need.
You're the only girl who ever got me feelin so free.
And I love you, with all my heart and soul till I die.
I truly need you, baby you're the light in my life.
And I know it that one day for sure you're gonna be my wife.
Just hold on tight, because I'm always gon treat you right.
My baby and my closest friend, I love you baby girl.
Until the day I die, I'll try to give you the world.


We were created to find each other our favorite and down for us to love forever. Our hands lockin tight, as I look into the eyes.
Of that one special person who would complete my life.
You were the one I chose, out of all the rest.
The one who I would cherish, and I'm puttin on my best.
Just to stay in your arms, as you hold me tight. cause baby, bein with you just feels so right.


If loving you is wrong, than I don't want to be right.
Can't imagine what this life would be, without you by my side.
The day we met, I can't explain the way that I felt.
Feeling all these emotions that I can't even help.
If I didn't meet you, there won't be no smile on my face.
You doin everything to me to make my heart beat or race.
Every little thing we do is just so special to me.
We were meant to be that's something I truly agree .
And I know it's fate and destiny, I see it in your eyes.
Everytime you smile, I can't explain the feeling inside.
Always gonna treat you good, exactly like the first day.
Just promise to me baby that you'll never go away.


I love you baby. Always and foreva you kno what I'm sayin? Yea, it's always gonna be me and you right? Yea, cause I ain't neva lettin go, you kno wut I'm sayin? I just wanted to let you know that.

I Spy...The Lady at Key Foods

I spy a mistress. I spy a whore. I spy a home-wrecker. I spy red lipstick. I spy perfume. I spy a man. I spy a relationship. I spy a broken hearted wife. I spy a burning pit in her heart. I spy fire. I spy knives. I spy daggers. And I spy the man and mistress tied together on a burning stake. I spy a wife moving on with her life.

Leave Me Alone

Hey you jerk,
         Why'd you rob me? Your greed, your thirst is breaking me. Why do you have to take away my memories of something that I do not have anymore? It hurts. Don't take away what you can never possess. Don't take away my happiness and the memories that I treasured the most. How dare you rob my memories? Something that means nothing to you but everything to me should remain in my wallet, my book bag, my hands, my heart, and my mind. Get your filthy hands off before I take a blow to your head and send your sorry life to Hell. Just kidding, that's not who I am or what I do.
          I just really wish I had those scraps of paper. Keep the $7 and 50 something cents. Take that and buy yourself a Subway sandwich for all I care...GIVE ME BACK my memories. Those truly belong to me. You jerk, missing the person is hard enough. But to lose the last trace of them and the memories is worse. Do you know that? Maybe not, but I wouldn't know. If I ever meet you, I want to tell you my story. I want to tell you what it is like to have someone and something at one point, then lose it all overnight. Was that you? Did you lose everything that ever mattered to you? Is that why you're out on the streets robbing teen girls?
          Well, I'm sorry if you went through that. But that's more of a reason why you should UNDERSTAND how I feel when you stole the memories in my heart. You piece of shit, it hurts. I bet you know that...but you don't care. You don't care. Nobody cared. He didn't care to keep me. He didn't care to live longer. I didn't care to beg. You didn't care to ask. And now, I lost it all. Oh it's so sad...I keep thinking that someone with a heart picked up my wallet and turned it in somewhere. Somehow, I'll have it back in my possession with the scraps of memories again.
          I went to 95th/Dan Ryan and all the way up to Howard, but I didn't find it. I scanned the ENTIRE CTA red line Roosevelt station, even the tracks. I couldn't find it. I could not fucking find it. If only YOU JERK knew how hard I am TRYING to find my wallet and everything inside except for the damn money and freakin' cards, maybe you would have just casually left it somewhere. If only YOU JERK knew what those memories meant to me, you would have returned the wallet to the red line station. If only YOU JERK knew that I have NO MONEY in the wallet, you would not have robbed me.
           YOU JERK! You don't know ANYTHING! Damn you and your stupidty. Damn your heartless soul. Damn your habit of robbing and stealing and hiding. Damn your screwed up life. I hope that you get caught. I hope that one day your guilt will drive you six feet under ground.

With Love,
The Girl You Robbed (3:20PM. 11/16/2010)

One Shot

I only have one shot. And that's tomorrow. After tomorrow, it will be history and we will move on with our lives. I can worry and hesitate and freak out as much as I want...but that won't help the situation. Too many times I've heard people tell me, "It's just you and your music. That's all there is. Just you and nobody else." Or something else like, "You're playing it, it's not the other way around." They say that I have it all under control and everything will be alright. But really, I have limits too you know? I don't know how far this is going to take me, but as of now, I have to make it. I only have one shot. And that's tomorrow.

Yo, This Is Wassup

I MISS YOU

Lol yeah, that's basically it. Everyone has those times where they miss someone so bad, and there's nothing to do to hold onto them. This goes out to all of the people that I miss...and especially to the ones that my grasp with them is growing slippery or even the ones that I've lost already.

There's not many that I lost. To lose one or two people that means the whole world to me can definitely do enough damage. Lol. Whatever the case may be, I know that I am trying or I've tried my best to keep them. Just yesterday, my piano teacher told me, "Loren, you have to learn to let go on some things. You can't perfect every single note. Sometimes, when you have done all that you can and it's going no where, maybe that's a sign that you should let it go." Ohh how I love that woman (: She's right...lol that same concept of letting go of imperfect notes or parts of a sonata or of the people in my life that just refuses to pull through with me, it all fits.

It's kind of weird how my "habit" of not letting go of things or people can show in the music that I make. 0_o I guess that's just me...and it's so hard to overcome that bad habit of double checking, triple checking that every note and every part of the sonata sounds "right." And you know what, it's hard to let go of people too. But right now, I think overcoming that habit in piano is more difficult than letting go of someone. (:

Slowly but surely I am moving on from who I've lost. You know, it's really not a big deal...You just have to get used to it. XD Heyyy, that's what my piano teacher told me too. How ironic. (:

It Never Happened

Hey Loren,
       It was never real. It was all a lie, a dream. You were freaking fooled by a damn idiot. XD Can you believe that? Lol. So, I'm just saying that whatever pain that you felt, the tears that you shed, and the rage that drove you have insane...that's just you hallucinating. Or it's more like, you went through all of that for nothing. 0_o Because in reality, the one reason that caused you to go through all of that doesn't exist. I lied, okay? EVERYTHING that I told you, I really didn't mean any of it. Happy days, happy moments, brings a lot of excitement and loss of control...you have to understand that. That's why I might have said things that I didn't mean to say. The energy was there, that's all. If you feel bad, don't because it wasn't much that was there. You know what I mean?

Sincerely,
Bitch-Face

Plan A (:

I have this wish or dream to form a band. This probably sounds stupid or silly, but I have no idea where to start. XD I've been writing lyrics for a while now...I've been playing the piano for at least eight years. So, I probably have the basics down (you know, some music knowledge and writing skills...I got this). 

The tricky thing is that I don't know if I will be able to commit my time into the band. Knowing myself, I'm more of an education school girl type of person. Am I willing to give everything up for music? Is this what I REALLY want? I don't even know. Lol. For now, here's my plan:

1. Clean out my garage

2. Get a drum set

3. Get an electric keyboard

4. Get a microphone

5. Set up garage band room

6. Find songs to "cover"

7. Start learning the songs with my sister

8. Post the videos on youtube, facebook, anywhere.

9. We'll start from there. 

If this doesn't work, then...I don't know yet...we'll see what happens. :) 

Dumbfoundead

Tonight at UIC, Dumbfoundead was there. (: He is too good for words. That rapper motivates me to continue my own lyric writing and work towards rapping and singing. I have to admit that he's not the best writer or rapper, but he's real. His works are real and simple. It's the hard truth to life...it's not something that people want to hear about (like sex, drugs, money, and living the good life).

In a way, he's my idol. Though he never went to college and he parties hard and probably does drugs, but he has talent. His talent is to speak his mind freely, write without limits, and freestyle like it's a game...and joke around under pressure. I want to be like him and not have to sweat the little things. On stage, he showed me that making mistakes doesn't mean much. Little mistakes are not enough to screw up the whole idea...it's just not worth it. I guess this applies to life too. :P

Kudos to you man, you're way cool, Dumbfounded! <3 Keep it up, your music is sick. :D 

It's There, Believe It.

I never thought that "karma" existed. I'm still not so sure if it exists, but something similar to it happened on 10/28/2010. Haha, that night, I truly believed in karma and that what goes around comes the fuck back around. (:
It hurts doesn't it? Lol, of course it does...you now know it. And I am not sorry...Well, I'll "help" you and be there for you, but I am not sorry. It's a good thing that you know how it feels, it's like a learning experience. But then again, do you learn? XD You'll be alright...it's not your style to be stuck for too long. Because...That's. So. Not. You. It wasn't much, but I know you. (: Hahaha, this is how it should be. ;)
________________________________

I was thinking about us. I was looking at my cut...It's finally closing up. All that's left is an ugly brown scab. I'm ready to play again. Count me in next time, I won't be missing out. :D

Damn Animal

I can be an animal. I can be out of control. There's no one to stop me. No one's rules can limit me anymore. That's the upside to things. It's okay for me to play around however I please...No promises need to be made (or new ones, at least). I have never felt so free and rebellious before...This is what "me-time" does to you. :D

We are going to make it. Not only that, we are going to make it out big. If you set your heart to it, I sincerely believe that you will get what you want. I want to be on the radio...and I will be on the radio. You can't deny the power of SoLo.
10/27/2010

To Vanessa

*And she's finally gone...my other half. Her appearance brings warmth to my heart...and her departure sets me in a lonely and cold rat hole. If I didn't have her, fourth period lunch would be dreadful. She's like the other half that I can't see in myself, but I know it's there.*
10/25/2010

Some Days

ALEJANDRO'S HOUSE WAS FUN! "Let the Right One In!" :D :D :D 11/11/2010

A line that goes something like "my head is stuck up in the clouds" from the Plain White T's sparked a thought...I guess my head is stuck somewhere, and it's abusing my sanity. There's so much that I know about my situation, I know everything about it (I think). Somewhere in the back of my head I know that you are not worth it. Regardless if it's anger, love, or pure sadness, you're not worth it. But I cannot help it...I might miss you, even though you're not the greatest. Oh, I also know that I vanished from your life too, even if I'm physically still there. FTS, it's alright. :D 11/11/2010

I FINALLY HAVE A "B" IN TRIG!!! YESSSSS. (: That's the best feeling in the world. (:
I don't know what I'm waiting for. But I know that I am waiting (grrr). I still feel bad to "change," even though I know it's perfectly okay to do so. You know, I didn't plan for this at all...I had something totally different in mind. My opinions on life are completely twisted...Ehh, maybe that's okay since I twist them to let go of stuff... 11/10/2010

DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT TODAY!!! (: jk, =\
I killed the wall, and I also killed my door.
Shit, even if I don't talk to you, I am constantly reminded of you.
I keep finding erasers here and there...I think it's "Eraser Losing Season" or something 0_o 11/9/2010

Health is something that is foreign to me. I only know education and work. That is all I know. It is better this way.
Oh, btw, joints kill...I missed piano. 11/8/2010

"情" is back...isn't that a surprise? Not really, it was expected. (: And it was expected that "爱" is still missing. It is NEVER GOING TO COME BACK. Get the message? Harharhar...duhhh. 11/7/2010

Bones

Bones, how I hate you. To be specific, I hate my joints...at least right now I do. There's not one joint in my body that is not in pain. Ever felt a cut being slowly pulled apart, expanding the wound? That's what the skin feels like. A burn. A constant stab with teeny weeny needles that's not even visible to the naked eye. 

Life is being such a _____________. It never gives people a break from trouble, let alone pain. I don't remember all of the miserable things that happened in my life for the past 15 years...but to give an idea of the rage I'm feeling, I'll list the most recent ones from 2010...now:

1. Early Feb. 2010 = Break up 1

2. March - May 2010 = Witnessed abuse

3. Mid July 2010 = Mom hospitalized for appendicitis ----> Surgery -----> Infection. Witnessed abuse. 

4. Mid/Late August 2010 = Break up 2. Witnessed abuse. 

5. Mid September 2010 = Grandma fell ----> Hospitalized ----> Fractures

6. Early October 2010 = Grandpa hospitalized for hypertension ----> Unstable condition

7. Early October 2010 = Low blood sugar and red blood cell count. FML. Witnessed abuse.

8. Early November 2010 = Food poisoning. 

9. Early November 2010 = Cold, painful joints, rash, itchy. 

That's quite a lot. Lol...But, I guess things are better than earlier. At least my family is okay now, and that I don't have to go through another emotional love attack. Now that I'm sick, I don't have to hear such evil language being spoken at home between the ones that I love. And you know why? It's because everyone loves me too much to worry about yelling at each other anymore. 

Yeah, being sick isn't the best thing there is...I mean, it hurts, and it's holding me back academically. But if me being sick can trade peace in my family, I will volunteer to be sick for the rest of my life just so they will learn how important family is...no matter what they have done before. If there is one thing that I hate the most, it would be the lies that cause abuse. Lies and misunderstandings. There, that's exactly my point, lmao XD Owww, typing really hurts my joints and knuckles =\ I can barely write and I can't even play the keys on my piano. Ahhh, sad life. >_< I'll get checked up later this week...I just hope it's nothing serious and that TOMORROW, I will ace my Chemistry test, World Studies' test, and maybe Driver's Ed test...if I choose to go to class.

I want to apologize for not going to my piano class for TWO weeks. =\ Damn my health (hahaha, funny...damn it no more because it's already pretty damned right now), I'm really sorry...I don't mean to do this. Ugh, anyway...I'll update this when my knuckles aren't killing me. (:

<3 Chou-Chou

Confessions

Hey...I have some confessions to make. Telling my confessions here (to the world) may seem weird, but I do it because I really don't have a specific person in mind to tell it to. And I figured it's not THAT important XD So, here it goes:
1. I often ignore people that I want to avoid.
2. Sometimes I act like I care, but I really don't.
3. I say that I hate lies and I want nothing but the truth, but on some occasions I regret knowing the truth.
4. I have consumed illegal things before. That was truly a mistake.
5. I have hung out with the wrong crowd before...haha, I tried too hard to be a part of something. It wasn't worth it.
6. I don't love my Grandma like the way I used to...or so I think. Maybe I'm just hiding my feelings, I'm not too sure myself at this point.
7. I put my education before everything else.
8. I tend to hate on people that give me a difficult time.
9. Even though I know that some people in my life should not be forgiven for something, I can't help it but forgive them.
10. I am tough, but when it comes to relationships and love, I become lost.
11. When I say "I love you," I mean it. When I say "I don't break promises," that stays true until I stop loving whoever/whatever I made a promise to...Technically, I lie all the time...because I stop loving different people all the time. (:
12. My patience level is about 6 on a scale from 1 - 10.
13. I wish that I could move on to falling for some boy.
14. I wish that some people would stop bugging me on FB...I really don't have the time for them. Every time someone that I don't want to talk to sends me a message over chat, the little box that pops up gets on my nerves.
15. Music is my life. My life is music...ehh, maybe not that, but yeah, music is my life. I want to form a band.
16. When I fall into depression or anger, it lasts for a while.
17. I do extreme and stupid things when I am depressed or furious.
18. I never fall for the same boy twice. Never...kind of odd.
19. I secretly hate my uncles...well, it's not a secret anymore. I hate my uncles.
20. Time is my biggest fear.
21. I am forgetful...as in I don't really keep track of people unless they mean a lot to me.
22. I hate man whores.
23. I worry about my physical appearance, but I am too busy/lazy to really do much about it.
24. I don't forget the people that have hurt me in the past...because they once meant the world to me. It would be injustice of me to forget them.
25. I like dead things. I like silence. I like peace. I like to uncover stories that cannot be told.

The View From Above...

We were sitting on the second floor of McDonald's today at 7PM. I had my cheeseburger from my happy meal and she had her McChicken with fries. 7PM...that was when the back up plan struck me. Yeah, back up plan for my future career(s). I was looking at the people downstairs who were walking down the streets and I thought, "What is it like to work? Have a career?"

It was a scary thought because what if the career I had in mind all this time didn't work out? I would be stuck without a job and a half failed education. So, I came up with a new plan...
1. Forensic pathologist
2. Nurse (??? XD)
3. Journalist & part time author
(: I'm excited already...<3

Life Refuses To Take Shit From Me

When life is fed up with taking shit from you, it scares you by letting you go for a split second. To me, it's a sign that I should learn to love life more. Take care of it more. . .But how can I? I don't know...It's hard to focus on looking after myself. It's something that I don't do well at all...and I often refuse the care from others. I don't know why I do that either...I guess I'm just paranoid.

16th Floor

1653...We're all up on the 16th floor. When everyone is asleep, it feels like I'm the only one here. It feels like I am the only breathing creature in the entire building. Feeling like the only one comes along with trickling ideas of ending everything. If I soared through the sky from the 16th floor, nobody would know...until I land on something with a *plop*

But then, I look at the other people. They're condition is physically worse than mine, yet they are fighting to live. Me right here, with low blood sugar, low red blood cell count, a loveless mind, and a heart made of concrete is thinking of giving in. That's pathetic. But I say to myself, it was only a thought. Only.

Love You Forever - Ryan Huston

If ever you needed to talk 
You could talk to me 
Oh, could you talk to me? 
If ever you feel like you're lost 
You can count on me 
I'll find you a way 
When the lights go out 
In the Universe 
I'll be next to you 
I'll be next to you 
And I surrender myself 
To you 
I'll love you forever 
I'll like you for always 
For always 
Together we'll be 
I'll love you forever 
I'll like you for always 
For always 
Together we'll be 
Yeah 
Together we'll be 
Yeah 
If ever you're too sick to walk 
I'd carry you 
And take care of you 
If ever you feel scared and alone 
I'd hold you 
And I'd just hold you 
When the lights go out 
In the universe 
I'll be next to you 
I'll be next to you 
And I surrender myself 
To you 
I'll love you forever 
I'll like you for always 
For always 
Together we'll be 
I'll love you forever 
I'll like you for always 
For always 
Together we'll be 
And when you get cold 
Just like you do 
I'll give you my coat 
Cause I'm here for you 
And as we grow old 
I promise to love you with every breath 
That is true 
When the lights go out 
In the universe 
I'll be next to you 
You'll be next to me 
And I surrender myself 
And I surrender myself 
To you 
I'll love you forever 
I'll like you for always 
For always 
Together we'll be 
I'll love you forever 
I'll like you for always 
For always 
Together we'll be 

By the River

Eyes

• White clouds
• Light blue sky
• Church chapel
• Junk on the other side
• Monuments
• Benches
• Hand prints
• Torches and fire
• Water
• Trees
• Wooden bridge
• Bikes
• Teens
• Love

Nose

• Fish
• Trees
• Laundry detergent
• Sweetness
• Wood
• Love

Mouth

• Water
• Salad
• Gum

Ears

• Birds
• Voices
• Cars
• Church bell
• Mexican music
• Footsteps
• Laughter
• Wind
• Love

Hands

• Cell phone
• Fuzzies
• Boxes
• Cloth
• Sweat
• Paper
• Money
• Metal
• Glass
• Plastic 
• Seats
• Tears
• Tissue
• Love

Reasons

In this world, this lifetime, there are many many reasons. Reasons are the ideas from someone that we hear the most. Something as simple as, "Because I said so," could be a reason to turn away from a decision. Whether the decision was a good or bad one, there's always a reason behind it. Sometimes I think if I debate with myself enough times, even if the decision is wrong and unethical, it just might be alright to do.

I first got this idea when I saw a page on Facebook that said something like, "If it was legal to kill people, you would be dead by now." Then, I saw the TV show "Dexter." Dexter is a forensic scientist (and psychopath) that tracks down and murders serial killers. In a way, he is doing the world a favor by getting rid of a monster. But, he's a monster himself...and what makes him killing serial killers right? It doesn't, that's why it's all a big lie and act to the ones that don't know or understand him at all.

It's things like these that strikes the crazy idea in my mind to ponder if it would be right to do ___________ to _______________. Or not do ___________ for _________________ because I think __________________________________. At the end of the day, I just realize these are mad thoughts. Thoughts that come to me when I'm stressed, in pain, scared...Oh, and of course angry too. :P