Life Refuses To Take Shit From Me

When life is fed up with taking shit from you, it scares you by letting you go for a split second. To me, it's a sign that I should learn to love life more. Take care of it more. . .But how can I? I don't know...It's hard to focus on looking after myself. It's something that I don't do well at all...and I often refuse the care from others. I don't know why I do that either...I guess I'm just paranoid.